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Igby Goes Down Reviewed By Erik Childress Posted 09/13/02 03:13:23
"Catcher In The Rye For Dyslexics" (Total Crap)
Ever see a film that was so busy being quirky, that it forgot it actually had characters and a story for them to tell? If not, then I certainly don?t recommend you rush out to see this waste of time and talent. One doesn?t have to imagine the screenwriter sitting at his computer thinking up new ways to make his players a little more idiosyncratic with every appearance, because you can practically hear him typing away with every passing scene that ?this is the line? or ?this is the trait? that?s going to make these people and this film so memorable. Memo to writer/director Burr Steers ? it still has to be FUNNY! Otherwise you?re left with a Wes Anderson film gone horribly wrong.No one will ever get the rights to J.D. Salinger?s The Catcher in the Rye. Stop hoping, it ain?t gonna happen, folks. Best you can hope for is a filmmaker to take inspiration from the book and mold it into a feasible entertainment that evokes memories, but never quite captures the original?s flavor and spirit. Steer?s Holden Caufield is named Igby, one of those smart-ass discontent teenagers who seemingly hates everything and everyone around him while clearly having no direction for his own life. Culkin Part Deux, Kieran, plays the title role who plays dumb and acts smart, using the ?F? word like it?s the only adjective he knows. (Never before have I seen the Big Daddy Expletive used so laboriously.)The film opens the way we wish Stepmom would have ended with Susan Sarandon having a plastic bag put over her head. In all her Mommie Dearest glory, Sarandon plays Igby?s socialite mother whose allegiance to older brother, Olivier (Ryan Phillippe), the Republican who used to sport a Nazi youth haircut. Igby?s father (Bill Pullman) no longer resides with the family because he?s a schizophrenic who frequently embarrassed mommy. But wait, there?s more.Having been placed in more military and prep schools than Damien Thorne in Heaven, Igby escapes his latest institution and gets a job from his generous Godfather, D.H. Baines (Jeff Goldblum), who hands out hundred dollar bills the way some do business cards. For residence, Igby enlists the services of D.H.?s mistress, Rachel (Amanda Peet), who shares the D.H. sponsored loft with a transvestite performance artist (Jared Harris). All this must take place behind the backs of the mother, brother and godfather, even though Steers? juggling of characters and locations make it impossible to understand why no one seems to know where Igby is, even though people always seem to know. It?s a rare event to see a film where a rooting interest can be acknowledged in nary a single on-screen personality. We?ve cheered on mobsters, morally-bankrupt high-ranking officials, philanderers and even serial killers, but no one in Igby Goes Down is worth raising our hands for except to smack ?em in the mouth, something that happens all too often to our ?hero? whom we watch get beat up more often than Eddie Deezen on a date with Tawny Kitaen.Who in this film is worth our smiles or tears? Certainly not Igby, who is a dour chap far less clever than he thinks, which immediately garners hatred from anyone in the audience with half a brain. Not Sookie Sapperstein (Claire Danes who, yes, quiver-lip-cries again), the perfect-joint-rolling-vegetarian who develops a relationship with Igby only to unconvincingly fall under the obvious snakecharm of Oliver in a poorly handled seduction scene that finds Phillippe dipping into his Cruel Intentions well. Not dear ol? mom dying of Cancer whose eccentricity extends to her anger management of sitting on the maid?s face with a pillow. Not the drug-dealing drama queen or the drug-taking mistress who can?t decide whether to screw Igby or beat him. Even just as we think that Goldblum?s D.H. may be Igby?s (and our) saving grace, he breaks down and beats the kid to a bloody pulp. This is the kind of film that would pull us to choose between empathizing with Saddam Hussein or Osama Bin-Laden and then introduce Adolf Hitler because it could probably tell some amusing anecdotes about his one ball.Igby Goes Down will go down in the tradition of such films as Full Frontal, Woman On Top and XXX as films with sexual sounding titles. Sorry, were you expecting me to compare it with quality cinema? There?s nothing to grasp onto here except the forced quirkiness and the sad realization of a talented all-name cast reduced to a muddled narrative worthy of maybe a smile an hour. It?s a mean-spirited film made by someone who surely read The Catcher in the Rye but clearly suffers from dyslexia.
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