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“I’m not bad?I’m just drawn that way.”

?Jessica Rabbit

WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT?

The first time I saw Who Framed Roger Rabbit was at a sneak preview in Costa Mesa, California, weeks before the scheduled premiere. The house was packed, and I felt a strong anticipation for the film, having salivated over its trailer for months. I was then, and am now, a huge animation buff, as well as a fan of film noir. To see those elements come together in something I’d never seen before was the stuff of dreams.

I can’t remember the collective reception of that audience, but I was absolutely thrilled, amazed by what unfurled before me. Even cooler, much of the animation was unfinished, particularly in the Toontown segments and in the shots of Benny the Cab roaring down the streets of 1940s Los Angeles. But the animation that was finished was jaw-dropping?gorgeously hand-drawn Tex Avery-style animation with unprecedented depth and dimension, characters with real personality interacting with human beings. That was the gimmick of the film, the main thing that got me into the theater, but Roger Rabbit is much more that just a gimmick.

Based on Gary K. Wolf’s Who Censored Roger Rabbit?, which merged the world of comic strips with the real world, Robert Zemeckis’ Who Framed Roger Rabbit populates its real-world frames instead with the more visual personalities of the cartoon world. In a stroke of never-seen-before-and-never-will-see-again luck and brilliance, Zemeckis oversaw a remarkable cooperation between Disney and Warner Studios so that all our favorite childhood characters could take part in the festivities. The result is both a top-notch entertainment and a trip down nostalgia lane. In the 15 years since this film premiered, we may have forgotten a little of the magic of watching Donald and Daffy Duck perform a duet in the Ink & Paint Club?or the giddy wonder of watching Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse chatting as they freefall in Toontown?but trust me, the magic is still burned into those cels, and always will be.

Besides a wild assortment of major and minor characters from classic Disney and Warner shorts and features, Who Framed Roger Rabbit introduces some original characters of its own. There’s the titular Roger, voiced with a speech impediment by Charles Fleischer. There’s Baby Herman, the foul-mouthed infant with a predilection for babes and cigars. And, of course, there’s the irresistible Jessica Rabbit, the curvy and voluptuous femme fatale voiced by an uncredited Kathleen Turner. An animated feature starring such a cast would provide enough fun for this fan of the genre, but the masterstroke of the film is that it places this cast in real-world Hollywood, circa 1947. Roger Rabbit is a film in which humans and cartoon characters (toons) live side by side in a kind of shaky harmony.

Eddie Valiant (Bob Hoskins) is a struggling private detective, down on his luck and deep into the bottle. The tragic loss of his brother years before has turned him sour on life and especially on toons. But he soon finds himself wrapped up in the world of toons when gag-king Marvin Acme gets “cacked” and Roger Rabbit, star of the popular short films, is the prime suspect. There’s lots of intrigue involving the animation studio, the greedy and evil Judge Doom (Christopher Lloyd), not to mention a bunch of weasels. And looming over all is the spectre of the completely animated Toontown, just to the west, a happy-face sun beaming down on its fanciful inhabitants. As the story progresses, we get startling character arcs not only from the human characters but also from the toons. We get a dastardly villain and we get a cartoon dame who defied her ink and aroused a generation. We get music that careens bizarrely from noir to toon and back again.

But you know the movie. And you also know the exhilaration you felt the first time you saw it. This is the type of movie that changes the face of movies themselves. The type of film?like, say, Star Wars or The Matrix?that shoved the boundaries of special effects and film trickery to a new level, and raised the bar for whatever might come after it. More than anything, Roger Rabbit is unique: an original concept turned brilliant by a dedicated cast and crew who were themselves reaching far beyond themselves. This DVD is a testament to that excitement and dedication, a perfect presentation of a film that deserves the “film-school” treatment.

WHO CENSORED ROGER RABBIT?

Yeah, Disney did. And if you need to stand your moral ground, hey, I salute you. I was angry for a while, too. It was a matter of principles. No matter how small the form of censorship, it’s still censorship, right? I agree to a point. But this set has done so much right, and Disney has even rectified one or two things.

Let me start by saying that if you own the original laserdisc set or the VHS tape, you’re going to have to hold on to your older copies of the film. By all means, buy this one too, because the film has never looked so good for home video, but you’re going to have to hang on to those uncensored discs.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, the censorship occurs on only a few frames of film. The first instance is when Baby Herman gooses a woman as he storms off set, early in the movie. In the original cut, he’s clearly extending his middle finger and giving the woman a little more than your average goose. This was a blink-and-you-miss-it prank perpetrated by the animators. When Disney caught wise to the few frames of naughtiness, they re-animated Herman’s arm so that it remained stiffly at his side as he brushed under the lady’s skirt. As we saw on the first Roger Rabbit release on DVD, the re-animation was awkward and obvious and even enraging. Many of us were disgusted with the censorship and lack of care taken with a favorite film. Well, I have good news and bad news. First, the bad news: Herman still doesn’t extend that finger. The good news: The arm still goes up. The sequence has been smoothed over and isn’t nearly as noticeable. (I have good news later, though, about this sequence. Read on.)

The second bit of censorship was to fix another animator prank: In the original cut, when Jessica Rabbit is thrown from Benny the Cab late in the film, she spins through the air and flashes her Barbie Doll pubes for a couple of frames. That was covered up in the previous release, and it’s covered up here, too. I don’t care one way or another about this case. The frames were never meant to be seen, and now they’re not seen. Period. Fine. Now let’s move on.

HOW’S IT LOOK?

Let’s pay no attention to the full-screen version of Roger Rabbit that disgraces Disc 1?the so-called “Family Friendly” disc. I have a family, and I can assure you that this disc’s feature presentation is by no means friendly to us.

No, let’s move straight to Disc 2?the “Enthusiast” disc. Buena Vista presents Who Framed Roger Rabbit in an impressively film-like anamorphic-widescreen transfer of the film’s original 1.85:1 theatrical presentation. This is a beautiful transfer, full of vivid, accurate colors?look at the richly bright primary colors of those toons!?and stunning detail, reaching far into backgrounds. I noticed no evidence of edge haloing. Needless to say, this effort blows away that of the previous non-anamorphic release.

I have very few complaints about this image. Sure, its age has given it a slightly dated look?some graininess and some minor shiftiness. But let there be no doubt that this is the finest this film has looked since its theatrical run?and probably better. In some instances, the transfer is so sharp that the toons seem almost too vivid, as if they’re popping more noticeably away from the live action.

The print is cleaner than anticipated, although I did notice a few specks.

HOW’S IT SOUND?

On the “Family Friendly” disc’s bastardized pan-and-scan version, you’ll find only a Dolby Digital 5.1 track. Not that you’ll listen to that soundtrack anyway.

On the “Enthusiast” disc, over the widescreen presentation, you get a Dolby Digital 5.1 as well as a DTS 5.1 track. Both are fine audio presentations, but even after switching back and forth frequently, I could detect only small differences between the two. DTS is a tad more open across the front, making the Dolby track seem just the tiniest bit muffled in comparison.

Dialog is mostly accurate, but both tracks suffer slightly from a loss of fidelity. You’ll notice some minor distortion in the high end, during shrill screams, shouts, explosions, and other sound effects. However, that being said, the bulk of each track is wonderful. The score comes across with terrific depth, and it gets special treatment in the surrounds. Otherwise, I noticed little use of the rear channels, save for occasional sound effects. Honestly, I noticed more impressive surround activity in the Roger Rabbit shorts on Disc 1 (more on that later).

WHAT ELSE IS THERE?

The supplements in this fabulous set are enough to make any fan giggle like a titmouse. The animated menus themselves are new works of art: They feature Benny the Cab, glimpses of Jessica, and toons wandering across a studio back lot. One disappointment is that most of the extras?with a few notable exceptions?are presented in non-anamorphic widescreen.

Let’s start with Disc 1, where we get a couple of cool surprises.

DISC 1

Ignoring the actual video presentation that this disc offers, you can delve into some extras that are primarily aimed at kids?with a few terrific exceptions.

First up is the ACME Warehouse section, which is full of silly easter eggs that lead you to brief toon explosions and other visual effects. But in the center of the screen is a menu of supplements. The first and most interesting is the Roger Rabbits Shorts. These short films were produced in the years following the release of the feature and were attached to various other Disney features, such as Honey I Shrunk the Kids. The cartoons are presented in 1.85 anamorphic widescreen and Dolby Digital 5.1 audio. They don’t look quite as good as Somethin’s Cookin’, which opens Who Framed Roger Rabbit?they suffer from graininess and age?but they’re more than watchable. The first is Tummy Trouble, in which Roger must take Baby Herman to the hospital after the kid swallows a rattle. The second is Rollercoaster Rabbit, in which Roger and Herman get into all sorts of trouble at a county fair. The third is Trail Mix-Up, in which Roger and Herman mess with Mother Nature. They’re all hilarious, but my personal favorite is Rollercoaster Rabbit, which features some brilliant surround-sound activity.

Next is the rather annoying 11-minute Who Made Roger Rabbit featurette, hosted by Roger Rabbit himself, Charles Fleischer. Seemingly geared toward the kiddie set, this piece features some admittedly great behind-the-scenes footage of actors reacting to non-existent toons, but the ever-present Fleischer, inserting his clownish self into animation and finished footage, becomes grating.

The “Trouble in Toontown” Game is a rather brain-dead game aimed at the “Family Friendly” audience.

In the Ink & Paint Club section, you’ll find sneak peeks for Schoolhouse Rock and Ultimate X. In Valiant’s Office, you’ll find audio options for the full-screen presentation.

The final supplement on Disc 1 is a rather cool easter egg?the film’s groundbreaking original Theatrical Trailer, presented in anamorphic widescreen. And the best thing about the inclusion of this trailer is that it contains the uncensored shot of Baby Herman extending his middle finger while goosing the female stagehand. The image quality isn’t great?it suffers from graininess, oversaturated colors, and dimness?but at least you completists have your “lost” footage. This easter egg is extremely easy to find.

DISC 2

Possibly the most anticipated feature of this set is the feature-length Audio Commentary by director Robert Zemeckis, producer Frank Marshall, screenwriters Jeffery Price and Peter Seaman, associate producer Steve Starkey, and visual effects supervisor Ken Ralston. This is a jovial affair, full of nostalgia and laughter. Everyone involved remembers the making of the film as a Herculean effort, and they’re surprised but extremely proud that they survived the experience. Some highlights of the conversation include the Joel Silver cameo, the notion that Roger Rabbit is a film about civil rights, and the fact that Steven Spielberg paved the way for an unprecedented cooperation between Disney and Warner Brothers to gain access to so many cartoon characters. You also learn about Jessica Rabbit’s impossible breast movements, and the brilliance of Bob Hoskins’ acting against invisible eyelines.

Next up is a Deleted Scene. This so-called Pig Head Sequence is a scene that Zemeckis apparently regretted cutting. The packaging makes it seem as if the scene contains mostly unfinished animation and storyboards, but it’s actually a fairly polished full-frame sequence, and it would have felt right at home in the feature, containing good humor and some great new footage of Jessica Rabbit and Judge Doom and Toontown. You can also view an Introduction by Zemeckis.

The Valiant Files section offers a whole mess of original sketches, background paintings, production stills, promotional posters, and photographs, all of which you can access as easter eggs by snooping with a magnifying glass through Eddie’s office or from a simple menu at the bottom of the screen.

Before & After is a 3-minute video presentation that shows a split-frame comparison between the finished film and a workprint edition made up of storyboards and bluescreen elements. The scene is Eddie’s entrance into Toontown. It’s an extremely illuminating sequence that took me back to that first sneak preview.

Toon Stand-Ins is another 3-minute video piece. This one shows how the production team used silly-looking rubber stand-ins for Roger and the weasels during the bar fight (and throughout the film.). I remain amazed that these poor actors could keep a straight face.

Next is Behind the Ears, a 36-minute documentary about the evolution and production of Who Framed Roger Rabbit. This in-depth piece is composed primarily of behind-the-scenes footage and talking-head interviews with many participants:

* Robert Zemeckis (Director)

* Frank Marshall (Producer)

* Steven Spielberg (Executive Producer)

* Steve Starkey (Associate Producer)

* Don Hahn (Associate Producer)

* Peter Seaman (Screenwriter)

* Dean Cundey (Director of Photography)

* Arthur Schmidt (Editor)

* Richard Williams (Director of Animation)

* Dale Baer (Chief Executive and Supervising Animator)

* Simon Wells (Supervising Animator)

* Andreas Deja (Supervising Animator)

* Phil Nibbelink (Supervising Animator)

* Dave Spafford (Animator)

* Nik Ranieri (Animator)

* Ken Ralston (Visual Effects Supervisor)

* Michael Lantieri (Special Effects Supervisor)

* David Alan Barclay (Chief Puppeteer)

* Jon Alexander (Optical Camera Operator, ILM)

* Ed Jones (Optical Photography Supervisor)

* Alan Silvestri (Composer)

* Bob Hoskins (Eddie Valiant)

* Charles Fleischer (Voice of Roger Rabbit)

* Lou Hirsch (Voice of Baby Herman)

You can imagine, therefore, how thorough this documentary is about touching every aspect of the production. We go from concepts to live-action tests to animation composites. Zemeckis talks about how he approached the film as a regular live-action movie, with a particular emphasis on a non-stationary camera, thereby complicating the efforts of the animators. He says, interestingly, that what he wanted was the best of three worlds: Disney’s beautiful animation, Warner’s interesting characters, and Tex Avery’s humor. Attention is given to the actors’ mime training, props and mechanics, the fact that all the animation is hand-drawn, the insanely complex process of achieving animated depth that matched the real world, and on and on. Silvestri’s combination of toon music and film noir is touched on, as is Charles Fleischer’s odd behavior on the set. Toward the end of the documentary, the sneak previews in Costa Mesa are even mentioned! This is a valuable document for fans of the film.

On Set! is a 5-minute look at filming two Benny the Cab sequences?one on the streets of L.A. and the other on a bridge near Dodger Stadium.

Toontown Confidential is an entertaining and illuminating trivia track that plays over the feature. You can choose to listen to any of the audio tracks as this subtitle track provides a virtually non-stop collection of anecdotes, trivia, and hilarious tidbits such as “Before CDs, music was played on records.” This track nods to Chinatown as a major influence, and talks more about Tex Avery. You also get lengthy bios of the major players. A cool aspect of this track is that it points out opportunities for freeze-framing the image and recognizing barely glimpsed animated characters, and it also tells you when and where each character first appeared in cartoon history. This was a LOT of fun.

That’s it! However, I should mention that I found the easter egg on Disc 1 without trying too hard. These menus are RIPE for more, so you might spend some time searching for hidden features.

WHAT’S LEFT TO SAY?

I’m delighted with just about every facet of this disc. I wish the “Enthusiast” disc contained the original unedited cut, but I’m satisfied with the changes made to the previous disc’s awkward slashing. This is a spectacular set that belongs in every film lover’s library. The image and sound are top-notch, and the supplements add sumptuous value to a film classic.

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DOWNLOAD MOVIE Weight of Water, The Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
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Weight of Water, The
Maybe it's too "European" for me. I mean it's pretty slow, ponderous,
portentous, and moody. It's also confusing, partly because the cuts
back and forth between the current and past stories take place at
awkward times and partly because the editing of the modern climax
leaves me in doubt about exactly what the heck HAPPENED and in fact,
even who SURVIVED.

I've always kind of enjoyed Katheryn Bigelow's work. It's commercial,
but man does she have an eye for the camera. In "Blue Steel" the lens
lingers lovingly over a pistol's contours as if the two objects wanted
to get it on.

But here, well, I can't help wondering if she overdosed on a full
sleepless weekend of Ingmar Bergman.

The historic part first. I liked it. It reminded me a little of
"Babette's Feast." The life is one of hard work and infrequent bare
wooden pleasures. Bigelow does a splendid job of visualizing this
nearly joyless existence and the acting is unimpeachable on the part of
everyone concerned, especially Sarah Polley who is given a pinched
wind-reddened face and a delivery that never deviates from the tone of
a casual remark. She is what is known as repressed. It's like watching
a boil grow as her emotions simmer. As in a Bergman film there's a lot
of sex around here. Not just ordinary marital bliss, which never seems
much fun, but homosexual and incestuous too. The final confrontation
between the three women has Polley sitting in a bed with her
sister-in-law and being accused of corrupting her. I can't get over the
way Bigelow and Polley handle this important scene. Polley, previously
the epitome of emotional restraint, glares at her accuser from under
her tousled blonde hair, her blue eyes now big and blazing with anger,
lighted from above so that they seem to glow from within the shadow of
her brows. Finally Polley's character seems fully alive although mad.
The story is a success in almost every respect.

Then there is the modern story of four amateur sailors come to
investigate this century-old murder case. There's a lot of sex in this
part too. Well — let's face facts. With Elizabeth Hurley in a major
role, you get sex whether you want it or not. What a succulent morsel!
To imagine Hurley chaste is like trying to imagine the young
Ann-Margaret as a nun. Not that I mean to knock her. She's never
delivered a better dramatic performance. Catherine McCormack has a
better, more complex role, and she delivers too. She doesn't exude
sexuality the way Hurley does but her beauty is more subtle and more
enduring, the kind of woman you must get to know to appreciate. Sean
Penn is unconvincing as a lapsed poet. The other guy seems a nice
enough fellow but I'm not sure why he's around except maybe to
introduce a fourth character on whom suspicions can be cast. This is a
plot in which people sit around ogling one another and intuiting so
many things about the other characters, without actually voicing them,
that it's enough to make Henry James roll over in his grave. Somehow –
I'm just guessing at this — McCormack identifies with the repressed
Polley. When Penn approaches McCormack in the deserted library stacks
and tries to make love to her up against the tomes, she balks and says,
"I can't do this." I suppose this is to be taken as repression rather
than just a lack of desire to perform this kind of acrobatic pas de
deux while standing up. (Penn may be a poet but he's no gentleman.)
There's also the evidence of identification provided by McCormack's
drowning hallucinations about coming face to face with Polley's smiling
corpse underwater. But that's about the only parallel I can see, if in
fact it exists. It would have been easier to follow if McCormack had
bopped Hurley over the head and flung the slut overboard, but that
isn't what happens.

The score is as moody as the picture. Lots of cello leads in the
orchestration, although not Bach, as in that Bergman movie about sin
and guilt and incestuous sex among family members on an isolated
island. Nobody can criticize the photography though. In these
latitudes, even in midsummer, the sun is never high in the sky but the
weather is usually clear and windy, or at least it was during the
summer I spent in Digby. It's a truly beautiful climate and it's
thrilling to see it so well captured on screen.

If you're caught in a storm offshore in a sailboat and lose your
engine, can't you throw over a bow anchor and ride it out? Or, failing
that, a drogue?

I don't know. But then there are a lot of things about this movie that
I didn't get.

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DOWNLOAD MOVIE Trapped Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
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“Trapped,” which opened Friday, is not the kind of unwatchable mess you might assume a film withheld from reviewers’ scrutiny would be. It is, however, something equally unfortunate: a mess you’d rather not be watching. “Trapped” is directed by Luis Mandoki in a style far from his previous syrupy “When a Man Loves a Woman” and “Message in a Bottle.” Starring Kevin Bacon and Charlize Theron in a creep show about vulnerable parents and sadistic kidnappers, it’s slickly made and even has a performance or two worth mentioning. ADVERTISEMENT But, true to its title, it traps audiences in a series of relentlessly nasty situations that we would pay a considerable ransom not to be looking at. How torture like this came to be entertainment is anybody’s guess. According to a Los Angeles Times story by Anita M. Busch, “Trapped” (adapted by Greg Iles from his own novel) was released without benefit of media attention because the studio felt queasy that the film’s theme of child kidnapping was hitting a little too close to reality. As Busch wrote, the film was opening at the end of “what seemed like an endless summer of child kidnappings and murders.” While Sony’s attempt to act with social responsibility, if that’s what it is, is well and good, the bigger question is why the studio put a film this questionable and unsavory into production in the first place. It would be nice if something less pressing than today’s headlines could wake a studio’s ever-slumbering sense of morality and appropriateness, but we all know that’s not going to happen. After a prelude that gives a taste of the bad guys’ modus operandi, “Trapped” introduces us to perfect couple Karen and Will Jennings. She (Theron) is an up-and-coming textile designer and mother of irresistible 8-year-old Abby (”I Am Sam’s” Dakota Fanning) while he (Irish actor Stuart Townsend) is a handsome doctor who’s just invented a lucrative wonder drug. Into these lives comes a trio of kidnappers, each of whom focuses on one family member. The hulking Marvin (an effective Pruitt Taylor Vince) gets to baby-sit the little girl, the blowsy Cheryl (Courtney Love) is assigned to vamp Will, conveniently out of town at a medical convention, while mastermind Joe (Bacon) gets wife detail. This is fine by him because Joe considers himself something of a mind-games expert. Using a nervy charisma and pop-psychology lines like “I’m going to help you through this thing” and “I give parents the power to keep them alive,” he feels more than able to manipulate any woman any way he wants. This kind of smug and nasty manipulator is ready-made for Bacon to play, and he makes the most of the opportunity. The actor’s clearly the most accomplished of the four leads and it’s a shame you’d have to endure this film to experience his performance. Making the film even more unpleasant than its severely asthmatic-child-in-constant-danger-of-death plot would indicate is a smarmy subplot that involves the kidnapper’s constant attempts to seduce the wife as a way for her to ensure the child’s safety. Needless to say, as Joe eventually discovers, Karen is “not like the other moms,” and this would-be perfect crime hits any number of speed bumps. In fact, the Jenningses are so intrepid that Sony apparently considers “Trapped” to be an empowerment movie. Sitting though endless misogynistic torture scenes to witness a few brief moments of revenge is no sane person’s idea of empowerment, parental or otherwise. MPAA rating: R, for violence, language, sexual content. Times guidelines: wall to wall with unsavory situations. “Trapped“ Charlize Theron…Karen Courtney Love…Cheryl Stuart Townsend…Will Kevin Bacon…Joe Pruitt Taylor Vince…Marvin Dakota Fanning…Abby Columbia Pictures presents, in association with Senator Entertainment and the Canton Co., a Mandolin Entertainment/Propaganda Films production, released by Sony Pictures. Director Luis Mandoki. Producers Mimi Polk Gitlin, Luis Mandoki. Executive producers Mark Canton, Hanno Huth, Neil Canton, Glen Ballard, Rich Hess. Screenplay Greg Iles, based on the novel “24 Hours” by Greg Iles. Cinematographers Frederick Elmes, Piotr Sobocinski. Editor Jerry Greenberg. Costumes Michael Kaplan. Music John Ottman. Production design Richard Sylbert. Art director William Heslup. Set decorator Rose Marie McSherry. Running time: 1 hour, 39 minutes. In general release.
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DOWNLOAD MOVIE Norbit Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
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I started watching Norbit this afternoon, and y’know…? It wasn’t as good as I thought it was gonna be. I mean, what with the glowing reviews and all, and wasn’t Eddie Murphy up for some kind of award or something?

Since Eddie Murphy made Universal a big stack of money playing eight quadraseptazillion different roles in The Nutty Professor, Dreamworks has him do the same schtick again here. The first of Murphy’s three characters is Norbit, a meek dweeb with a goofy afro and an underbite, speaking in the sort of froggy voice that was inexplicably box office gold for Adam Sandler ten years ago. After his birth parents abandon him, Norbit’s taken in by the kindly old Mr. Wong. If you forget that Mr. Wong’s supposed to be Chinese, his orphanage is also a Chinese restaurant, he speak-a in broken Engrish, he compares Norbit’s dick as a toddler to an eggroll, and he knows kung-fu. I guess the producers couldn’t rustle up a gong or any cats to drop in a deep fryer. Wong’s running joke is that he’s a raging racist, something that doesn’t seem entirely out of place in a flick where the lead character’s best friends are pimps who own a rib shack.

…and then there’s Rasputia. If you missed the cover art, Rasputia’s fat. Deluding herself into thinking she’s a fox, she belts out “Don’t Cha” by the Pussycat Dolls. See, it’s ironic ’cause she’s really, really fat. She washes her car to the tune of “Milkshake”, even though her milkshake does not bring all the boys to the yard on account of her being so fat. Rasputia runs a bath, but when she gets in the tub, all of the water sloshes out because she’s really, really fat! At Norbit’s wedding, there’s a big bite that someone chomped out of the wedding cake. Everyone looks around to see who could’ve done it, and even though Rasputia has white frosting all over her face, she sasses, “I ain’t had no damn cake!” See? Even though she insists that she didn’t touch it, the incriminating frosting smeared across her lips suggests that she did, in fact, eat the damn cake! Genius! She breaks a turnstile at a water park ’cause it wasn’t designed for someone so fat, and when she careens down a water slide, she plows through a fence and crushes a kid in a wading pool! You know why? Because she’s fat!!!!! I kept my fingers crossed for twenty years praying for a sequel to Disorderlies, and the auteur behind Good Burger has delivered the next best thing. Don’t get the wrong impression, though; Norbit is hardly just 102 minutes of fat jokes. There are plenty of dick, fart, poop, titty, and even pubic hair jokes too!!!!!

There’s kind of a story thinly stringing it all together. Norbit and Kate were the best of pals at Mr. Wong’s orphanage, but when Kate was adopted, Norbit was left by his lonesome. Too timid to care for himself or make new friends, Norbit was every bully’s punching bag until a behemoth named Rasputia stomped to his defense and informed Norbit that she’s his girlfriend. Norbit meekly went along with it, tormented by the morbidly obese, unreedemably cruel woman he eventually married and her three thuggish brothers who run a protection racket. He doesn’t realize how miserable his life is until Kate trots back into town. His petite, adorable childhood crush, now played by Thandie Newton, squirreled away a bunch of cash and wants to take over Wong’s orphanage when he retires. Norbit has to settle for just being pals since he’s married and she’s ::sniffles!:: engaged, but even all these years later, there’s still a spark between ‘em. The intensely jealous Rasputia sniffs out the romance in the air and does her damndest to keep the two apart. Her brothers, meanwhile, concoct a scheme with Kate’s money-grubbing fiance (Cuba Gooding Jr.) to steal Wong’s orphanage and turn it into a titty bar called Nipplopolis. So yeah, there are a bunch of cute scenes with our would-be lovebirds, a bit where Rasputia forces Norbit to break Kate’s heart, a last-minute wedding that Norbit has to put a halt to…you know the drill.

It’s just bland, forgettable stuff from screenwriters, a director, and a lead actor who’ve carved out a niche for themselves in the bland and forgettable. It’s a drag because Norbit does have some sparks of imagination, opening at a Chinese restaurant-slash-orphanage run by a psychopath who chucks a spear at a wooden whale his kids are lugging around, and it closes on a battle royale that comes completely out of left field (which is exactly where climactic battle royales should come from). Eddie Murphy is an immensely talented actor who loses himself in the three characters he plays; if his Mr. Wong had been dropped in another movie, I would never have been able to guess he was played by Murphy without cheating. It’s just not funny, in keeping with Murphy’s inability to get a laugh since he stopped chasing transvestite prostitutes ten years ago. The humor’s tired and has been recycled over and over again in a couple hundred other movies, and as loud and over the top as characters like Rasputia are, the sort of manic energy you’d expect from an Eddie Murphy flick is wholly absent. It’s just lazy, lethargic, and really mean-sprited.

Quite possibly the worst movie of 2007, Norbit somehow managed to rake in more than $95 million at the box office, and at $8.50 a pop, that’s…oh, 11.2 million people who won’t be getting Christmas cards from me this year. Learn from their mistake.

Video: The 1.78:1, AVC-encoded video has an overprocessed look to it, cranking up the colors and smoothening out the image. The exaggerated hues leap off the screen, but the level of fine detail is middling. Particularly tight close-ups look fantastic — and it’s remarkable how well Rick Baker’s make-up holds up to such revealing shots in high-definition — but there’s a tinge of softness when the camera eases back. There was never any doubt that I was watching a movie on HD DVD, but I’d expect a bright, glossy comedy like this to really impress. Norbit instead falls somewhere in the neighborhood of “really good”; hardly disappointing but not exactly great either.

Audio: Like most comedies, Norbit’s multichannel sound design anchors most of the action up front, sparingly using the surrounds to reinforce effects such as a particularly loud splash that closes out the money shot in the water park and the choir-backed testifyin’ in the church. The movie’s dialogue emerges pretty well, and Rasputia’s stomping is accompanied by hefty waves of bass. Ordinary but fine.

There are also 5.1 tracks in Spanish and French as well as subtitles in all three languages.

Extras: At least Norbit tosses all but one of its extras on in high-definition, something a bafflingly small number of HD DVDs bother to do.

“The Making of Norbit” (22 min.) is a standard issue promotional piece. Y’know, here’s a list of the outrageous and crazy characters, and boy, aren’t the actors who play ‘em great? There’s a little meat in there too, though, touching on the costuming (Rasputia wears a 50i bra, if you’re curious), how the story came together, and the extensive visual effects work. Eddie Murphy’s interviews are upscaled from standard definition, but pretty much all of the rest of the footage is in high-def. Oh, and Thandie Newton speaks with a British accent that makes her that much hotter.

Rick Baker’s make-up effects get a featurette of their own: “Man of a Thousand Faces”. Clocking in at three and a half minutes, the only standard definition extra on the disc looks at the design and application of the elaborate make-up for the three characters Murphy plays. The last of these three making-of clips is a surprisingly comprehensive stunts featurette (12 min.) that notes the added complexity the fat suit added to mapping out the stuntwork, and it takes a look at how all of the movie’s big stunt sequences were put together. There’s also a peek at storyboards, test footage, and stunt doubles in creepy half-Rasputia make-up.

A gallery of fourteen deleted scenes might sound like a lot, but they barely run eight minutes in total, and most of ‘em are just long enough to squeeze out one joke. The highlights, if you wanna call ‘em that, include a forced marriage proposal, a longer version of Kate meeting Norbit’s thuggish brothers-in-law, Norbit trying out some pick-up lines on the pimps’, um, bitches, an extended take on Norbit’s escape from the basement, and a couple extra gags that would’ve closed out the flick.

“Power Tap” (5 min.) is a fake promo for Marlon Wayans’ character’s tap dance-slash-workout program, and a still gallery and a high-def theatrical trailer round out the extras.

Conclusion: Awwww…it took me a while to hammer out those five or six paragraphs up top, and you want to skip past it so I can sum it all up in a couple of words? Okay, you win: Skip It.
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DOWNLOAD MOVIE Big Bounce, The Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
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Big Bounce, The

One of the many reasons that people enjoy reading Elmore Leonard is for the observations made by the colorful characters, and the asides they make are just as enjoyable as the overall story itself.  Films based on Leonard’s books have transferred well in recent years — Out of Sight, Get Shorty, Jackie Brown — made by directors who understand that proper use of dialogue will draw the attention of audiences into the characters, and once those characters see action, we know them well enough to be interested in anything they do or say after that point. 

The Big Bounce is the second time the Elmore Leonard novel of the same name has been made, the first in 1969, starring Ryan O’Neal.  That film was a critical failure and this 2004 version doesn’t fare too well either, despite having a very talented cast and nice locale work to bolster it.  The central problem?  Too much filler, not enough substance.  While the more successful Leonard adaptations have had their moments of interesting dialogue, they were always done while ensconced in a forward moving plot.  The Big Bounce, as adapted by Sebastian Gutierrez (Gothika), has almost no story to it at all, finally getting around to some plot developments in the last third.  By that time, it’s too little too late. 

Owen Wilson (Shanghai Noon, Zoolander) plays Jack Ryan, a beach bum who ekes out a living in Hawaii performing small-time jobs like B&E’s (breaking and entering) and getting in and out of trouble with the law.  A local district judge (Freeman, Shawshank Redemption) sees Jack needs a break, offering him a place to stay and some cash to be the handyman for some bungalows he owns.  In the meantime, Ryan gets romantically involved with Nancy (Sara Foster, in her debut), the current trophy girlfriend of Ray Ritchie (Sinise, Of Mice and Men) a dangerous high roller in the area, who has a scheme of her own to snatch $200,000 from her verbally abusive man.

The Big Bounce starts off well, establishing its characters and sense of style early, with Wilson delivering his usual off-the-wall quips aplenty.  It doesn’t take long for us to meet all of the main players, most of them within the first fifteen minutes.  The problem is that once we know who these people are and their respective situations, the film treads water for over an hour, showing us the same people doing the same things over and over.  The plot never moves forward, and in fact, is barely even dealt with, shelved in order to try to gain some meager chuckles with Wilson playing Romeo with Foster, in addition to having some hackneyed confrontations with some of the other would-be suitors.

So, we have a good cast, punchy direction by George Armitage (Grosse Pointe Blank), and the usual funky music punctuating the segue scenes, all typical for a Leonard adapted flick.  With all of the positive attributes, it’s a shame there wasn’t anywhere they could go with the material.  The Big Bounce is a nice looking nothing of a movie, so lackadaisical, you’ll probably zone out before the halfway point is reached.  Not to worry, though.  Since nothing’s going on for most of it, you could probably nap for an hour and still have enough information to know what’s going on during the final scenes, if you even care.  The Big Bounce lives up to its name by falling back to earth every time it looked like it was going to take off.

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DOWNLOAD MOVIE Little Fish Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
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Little Fish Reviewed By Trevor Gensch Posted 09/07/05 10:25:03

"Australian film-making is finally growing up (again)" (Average)

Best Australian film since Lantana? Perhaps. Intelligent, mature and a lot more worthy than most Australian fare? Absolute-a-frigging definately!Little Fish throws a lot at you in its first 20 minutes or so. So much in fact it can be a bit overwhelming and certainly worthy of a second viewing.In the time it takes for the first act to finish, we have been introduced to a family torn apart by drugs, personal tragedies, shattered dreams and the unique pain that can only be experienced by a group of people holding each other together by a bond of blood and love.The character at the core of all these dispirate emotions is Tracy (Cate Blanchett), a woman trying to make some forward progress in a world that seems intent on holding her back. She can’t get the finance to buy the video store she has worked at for four years, and is teetering on the edge of the abyss as her whole world closes in around her.Tracy is a caring woman at heart, and she lovingly tends to the welfare of her mother’s former boyfriend, Lionel (Hugo Weaving), a former AFL player who is now a hopeless heroin addict.An old flame comes back into her life in the form of Jonny (Dustin Nguyen - yes, the same Dustin Nguyen from 21 Jump Street no less). He wants to take up where they left off four years before, but the pain of the car accident that made her brother an amputee still lingers painfully - Jonny was driving the car. Jonny was always a bit of a shady character, and his return as a supposedly professional, suit wearing man masks his true intent - to take up where he left off in the drug trade.This is only a sample of the often depressing and bleak characters we share some time with in Little Fish. Those looking for a happy ending or a heart-warming tale will come away disappointed after seeing this film.The performances overall are reasonably solid, with the standouts being Cate Blanchett and Hugo Weaving. The time they share on screen (which for the most part is all staged within his dilapidated unit) are heartfelt and moving. You genuinely feel the pain that Hugo’s character is feeling - a man who wants to kick the drug but is let down by his lack of resolve and willpower.The main performers are also supported by a stellar support cast, most notably Noni Hazlehurst as the mother and Sam Neill playing a retiring "drug lord". Dustin Nguyen as the love interest fails to convince though and is probably one of the weaker links in this otherwise solid family drama.It’s a slow paced film but one that builds to a quite satisfying climax. You are never really sure where the story will take you, and that positively adds to its overall effect.
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DOWNLOAD MOVIE Ringer, The Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
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Johnny Knoxville’s Steve pretends to be a retard named Jeffie so he can compete in the Special Olympics and win money in The Ringer. Directed by Barry W. Blaustein (who’s written many Eddie Murphy movies like Coming to America, Boomerang and The Nutty Professor) and written by Ricky Blitt (Family Guy), the story is not stupid or tasteless as one would expect. It’s silly but is also funny, and despite a very weak beginning, it gets very good once Knoxville gets to the pre-Olympic competitions and is joined by the other mentally challenged athletes. Sorry about the retard remark before, btw.

But why does he go to the Olympics? Because he needs to raise money to pay for surgery for a friend, who is not actually a friend but an old guy he should’ve fired at work but instead decided to hire as a lawn mower and after an accident the guy ended up with three fingers chopped off his hand. And it’s a huge hospital bill because apparently in this movie’s time there are none of those organizations that pay the bills for you if you can’t. But oh well, I guess it’s necessary for the story to work. There’s another reason too, as Steve’s uncle Gary (played by a what-the-hell-are-you-doing-taking-these-roles Brian Cox) needs money to pay the mobs for his gambling. At the Olympics, Jeffie must compete against Jimmy (played by Leonard Flowers), the mentally challenged superstar who’s won the games 6 times in a row. There’s also Katherine Heigl’s Lynn, an instructor at the Olympics who helps Jeffie along the way while he falls in love with her.

There’s been some controversy lately about this movie, as South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker are saying the movie rips off an episode of their series they released in early 2004, but the movie’s producers say the script was written before that. Lawsuits may be filed, but whatever the outcome, the South Park episode was funny, and movie is funny too. Supported (mostly) by a cast of real life mentally challenged actors, The Ringer shows its heart, and it’s surprisingly respectful of the characters we all thought it would be making fun of.

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DOWNLOAD MOVIE Crash Landing Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
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The Movie

It’s kind of funny that Uwe Boll, who has directed less than 10 films, has become so infamous so quickly for churning out such low-grade cinematic junk — when a guy like Jim Wynokrski has been doing it for more than two decades and 65 movies! Crossing several genres, a fistful of pseudonyms, and more Z-grade schlock-piles than Dr. Boll could dream of, Jim Wynorski has directed Deathstalker 2, Sorority House Massacre 2, Dinosaur Island, Body Chemistry 3, Ghoulies 4, The Bare Wench Project, Cheerleader Massacre, and Komodo vs. Cobra — and those are some of the “good” ones.

So when I saw the pseudonym “Jay Andrews” in front of the low-rent “action” movie Crash Landing, I wasn’t fooled. I knew it was my old pal Wynorski. This time around Jim’s working with a 75th generation Die Hard concept, a pair of semi-famous names like Antonio Sabato Jr. and Michael Par?, and a really unconvincing airplane set.

The flick opens with a series of entirely random (and therefore rather amusing) murder scenes. One gal takes a bath with a curling iron, another pair shoot off of a clifftop thanks to a severed brake line. A little later on we find out that the recently-demised women were all flight attendants. And slowly all three of the puzzle pieces come together: A charter flight containing the daughter of a very wealthy businessman is about to be hijacked … and only “Masters” (Antonio Sabato Jr.) can save the day! (The fact that the head hijacker is as intimidating as Tony Shalhoub adds nothing to the intensity of the affair.)

So we ramble through the very dull “thwart the kidnappers” stage of the film, and just when you start to wonder “Hey, wasn’t Michael Par? supposed to be in this movie?” — the guy shows up as an army captain who must build a really quick runway if he wants to accomodate the incoming airliner. Oh, and it’s raining really bad, too. Just to add a little extra tension.

Really, you’ve seen all of this stuff before, only not with dialogue this outrageously stupid or performances this embarrasingly ripe. (The young lady who plays the intended kidnapee delivers her lines as if she can’t wait to get off camera.) Frankly, if you can sit through the whole of Crash Landing without chuckling at the flick’s bald-faced ineptitude, then you’re a kinder movie-watcher than I am. (Either that or the movie put you to sleep.)

The DVD

Video: A fairly flat and undazzling widescreen transfer. Looks about the same as it would on TV. Like, basic cable TV.

Audio: Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround, with optional Spanish subtitles. Audio quality is passable enough, provided you actually want to hear the dialogue.

Extras: Just a handful of Echo Bridge trailers.

Final Thoughts

There’s fun junk and then there’s just plain junk. Despite a few unintentionally hilarious lines of dialogue and “out to lunch” acting performances, Crash Landing is more witlessly tiresome than it is schlockily entertaining.

Plus, I think we can finally put the Die Hard concept to bed already, can’t we?
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DOWNLOAD MOVIE Up in Smoke Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
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Up in Smoke (1978) / Comedy

MPAA Rated: R for pervasive drug use, language, sexuality and brief nudity Running Time: 85 min. Cast: Cheech Marin, Tommy Chong, Stacy Keach, Zane Busby, Tom Skerritt, Mills Watson, Karl Johnson, Rick Beckner, Ann Wharton Director: Lou Adler Screenplay: Cheech Marin, Tommy Chong

 

While I’d be the last person to ever recommend a film just because it depicted drugs as fun times, funny is funny, no matter what the perspective.  Up In Smoke is the first and best of the Cheech & Chong movies, brilliantly transforming some of the best skits the subversive comedy duo had performed on album over the previous decade and injected into a major motion picture.  Although there was more to their comedy than just drugs, the movie would become legendary, making them synonymous with pot humor from then on.  Needless to say, they had the market pretty much cornered, becoming favorites of potheads and non-potheads alike, and together, the two stoners would craft one of the most laugh-out-loud funny films of the late 1970s.

Pedro De Pacas (Cheech Marin, Once Upon a Time in Mexico) pick up a hitchhiker (Tommy Chong, The Wash) one day, who happens to be the drummer he might be looking for to be in his band.  The two share more than music as a passion — they are both raging potheads who live to get high.  On their tail is Sgt. Stedenko (Stacy Keach, Brewster McCloud), an overly zealous narcotics officer who will do just about anything to take down drug offenders.  Meanwhile, the newly formed stoner friends embark on a series of misadventures, which sees them in Mexico and in a punk rock battle of the bands, among other things.

Be prepared for lowbrow humor and nonstop drug references, as Up in Smoke plays everything to the hilt in questionable taste.  As long as you’re tuned into it, this is surprisingly smart and incisive in its insights, with some very quotable lines and memorable scenes throughout.  Cheech and Chong have terrific chemistry, always staying within character, and riffing perfectly off each other without ever seeming too dumb or going for obvious gags.  Stacy Keach plays hothead Stedenko perfectly, and though he had played mostly dramatic roles in the past, he shows here that he is quite funny in his own right. 

Needless to say, this is definitely not a film for everyone.  Those who don’t enjoy pot humor or comedies which revolve around some dimwitted characters will probably not find much here to keep their interest.  However, taken on its own terms, it works quite well, and at 85 minutes, it doesn’t outstay its welcome.  The first half is a bit funnier than the last, but the comedic momentum never really comes to a halt.  Sadly, Cheech & Chong would end up using their best material for this movie, and subsequent films would only offer second and third-rate regurgitations, while also injecting even more sex, drugs and tacky humor. 

Up in Smoke is the quintessential stoner comedy.  Hardly a plot, barely cohesive, and will have you laughing despite yourself — it’s just like any movie about the pot experience should be like.
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DOWNLOAD MOVIE Laramie Project, The Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
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Laramie Project, The Reviewed By Todd LaPlace Posted 03/22/06 04:32:19

"Laramie sparkles, but ?Laramie? doesn?t." (Average)

My first exposure to ?The Laramie Project? was through a theater company in Ohio. It was a small production, with a cast of eight actors playing all 50-some roles. Even jumping back and forth between supportive, antagonistic and indifferent, all eight managed to perfectly capture the spirit of the play and the real emotions behind it. As a movie, ?The Laramie Project? misses most of that spirit. The story is still genuinely strong, but while the play felt real, the movie seems false. I feel like I?m watching fiction, when I should be watching reality.In theory, ?The Laramie Project? may be the perfect movie. There are, of course, great movies that are pure popcorn entertainment, but ?Laramie? is different. The story, based on a play of the same name, never deals directly with the tragedy of Matthew Shepard?s murder, but interacts with the situation around the tragedy. The Tectonic Theater Project, a theater company founded by Moises Kaufman, also the film?s director, conducted more than 200 interviews with the people of Laramie, Wyoming shortly after the attack and around the time of both trials. The entire play and screenplay is a compilation of quotes from those interviews, which gets closer to the tragedy than any depiction of Matt himself ever would have. It?s a story, even four years after the incident, that needs to be told, as the issues of gay rights continue to be at the forefront of a national debate. With all that said, ?The Laramie Project? may be an important movie, but it?s not a great one. The film turns the whole situation into an overwrought melodrama. The film is filled with excessive landscape shots and quick cuts and layered shots that do little more than fictionalize the story. During the trials, the courtrooms are filled with the townspeople interviewed, even though many have little connection to the case outside of also being gay. It?s possible, of course, that they were there, but through it all, the scenes still feel false. The film does a disservice to the Tectonic Theater Project, Kaufman, the play and, most of all, Matt, because all are worth more than this movie gives them credit for.A big part of the problem is the star-studded cast that litters every scene with this false melodrama. When the film dramatizes the interview with Matt Galloway, a bartender at the Fireside Bar, the place where Matt met up with accused killers Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson, we don?t see a bartender. We don?t see the last bystander that saw Matt alive. We see ?Dawson?s Creek?s? Pacey Witter. We see Joshua Jackson. We don?t see the limo driver that took Matt to gay bars in Fort Collins, Colorado. We see Steve Buscemi. The exact same statements can be said for Christina Ricci, Janeane Garofalo, Camryn Manheim, Laura Linney, Mark Webber, Ben Foster, Terry Kinney, Amy Madigan, Jeremy Davies, Clea DuVall, Nestor Carbonell, Dylan Baker and Peter Fonda. None of the actors turn in bad performances. On the contrary, all of them, especially Ricci, Madigan and Davies, are genuinely gifted actors, especially in this film. There is an honest sense of deep-seeded connection; these actors want to get this story told as much as anyone, but they?re not the ones to tell it. The talent may have given the film an extra boost and, hopefully, a few more viewers, but the whole affair sacrificed quality in order to get there. The movie is good, but the play is great. ?The Laramie Project? deserved better.There?s a line in ?The Laramie Project? that perfectly demonstrates why the movie is so important. Real Wyoming resident Murdock Cooper said, ?I’m not excusing their actions, but it made me feel better because it was partially Matthew Shepard?s fault and partially the guys who did it … you know, maybe it?s fifty-fifty.? If the movie can change one person?s beliefs, it was worth making. I just wonder how many more people may have been affected if it had been made well.
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