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DOWNLOAD MOVIE Fist of Fury Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
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Remakes are probably one of the hardest things to do in cinema. A precedent is already set, and in Fist of Fury’s case, it was first done by a legend, Bruce Lee, then successfully retold by Jet Li. So Donnie Yen’s 1995 attempt makes a third stab at telling the story.

Since it is such an already well known story, I wont go into much detail about it. Suffice to say, if you are reading this and haven’t seen either the Bruce Lee or Jet Li versions of this story (Fist if Fury, aka. in the US Chinese Connection and Fist of Legend, respectively), then please see them first. But, for those that don’t know or need a refresher, the basic story is- 1930’s Shanghai. Martial arts student Jun Chen returns home to find turmoil. The Japanese are in control and their martial schools have begun to usurp the Chinese schools. Jun Chens’s master tries to rally the Chinese schools together, and in his efforts to prove Chinese styles superiority (the Japanese call them the “Sick Men of Asia”), he is poisoned and killed by the Japanese. As they further plot to dominate the Chinese martial world and destroy the spirit of his people, divided by his love for a Japanese girl, Yumi, and his hatred for the atrocities committed against his culture, Jun Chen soon wages an almost one man war against the Japanese.

Now, with two legendary films of the same story already existing, how do you make it different, justify telling the same story again? Previously, I thought Jet Li was crazy for remaking a Bruce Lee film, but of course, he triumphed in making one of the greatest modern martial arts films, Fist of Legend. So, it is a mammoth uphill battle to try for a third time. In this versions case, they took the idea and decided to do it as a 30 hour tv series, the first half dealing with the backstory we never saw, and the last part being a retelling of the film version we kung fu fans know so well. However, that is the crux of one of the problems I have with this edition. This edition is a 2 hour cut, condensing the last half of the series, the story we already know, so we don’t get that unique glimpse into the characters backstory. Releasing a condensed version is smart, because, in America at least, not many people are going to want to pay for and sit through 30 hours of low budget tv. But for the cult audience of Asian afficianados, its may be annoying that with this version you only get a small hint of the changes and know you are missing out on the whole story. I was just hoping for a little more backstory, and would probably like and extra 30 mins added at the beginning so I could see some of it.

Quite frankly, the problems hinge on the fact that the series was made in a fourth of the time and probably 1/25th of the budget that American tv viewers are accustomed to. It is that culture shock problem, if I wasnt raised in the US with US tv standards in production and acting, I may love this series. The cast is all solid, and (at least in this version) the editing is kept at a brisk pace, keeping the story moving. But, it is all so cheap. Despite some good sets, locations, and occasional scenes of atmospheric shots, it is hindered by the limited scope of the production. No doubt stretched to its fullest extent, the lack of true time and budget for the action, actors, and filming makes this production nothing more than of novelty interest to really die hard kung fu/martial afficianados.

The thing about being a Donnie Yen fan, no matter how much you love him (like I do), the sour fact is that he never really took off as a huge star or solo talent. In the industry and with fans, he has respect, has charisma, and certainly has talent on par with any of the top names in martial films, from Jet Li, to Yuen Biao, to Jackie. But, I think getting his start in the age when martial films were dying, when the true martial stars began to fade and fighting just became an element in any kind of action film, as opposed to a genre in and of itself, he never saw the chance to be a huge star. His resume is a nice blend of genres, from one of the last old school films- Drunken Tai Chi, to cop action- In the Line of Duty 4, Tiger Cage, to fantasy swordplay- Dragon Inn, Comet Butterfly and Sword to new wave, wire fu period fighting- Wing Chun, Once Upon a Time In China 2, Iron Monkey, but in these films, his best work, he was usually a co-star or shared billing with other stars. And, his directorial efforts like Legend of the Wolf and Ballistic Kiss are really nothing more than entertaining b-pictures. Likewise, this Fists of Fury tv series really does fall short as a Donnie Yen showcase. Although he did the fight choreography, the limited budget never allows him to do much, sometimes having to choreograph and shoot an elaborate fight scene in one night, with non martial actors and limited stuntmen. The fights are so sped up and awkwardly shot, it is often very laughable, and not the best example of this talents. While he does try to pay more of tribute to Lee than Jet Li did, aping Lee’s stances, vocalizations, and some dialogue, it is admirable but still not enough to save the show from its overall clumsiness- no doubt all the more clumsy due to this version being an edited one.

The DVD- Tai Seng DVD. Not a terrific adaptation, but the DVD is actually a surprising treat due to a great commentary track.

The Picture- Basically fullscreen, tape (BETA, thank you D Yen commentary). The transfer does fine with the materials provided, but what is provided just doesn’t look that great. I think it is safe to say, mid 90’s HK television is on par/worse than an early 1970’s Doctor Who episode. We have infomercails that look better. Hell, I’ve got home videos that look better. But, as far as I could tell, the transfer is glitch and artifact free, gaining it major points. Just be forewarned, it looks as good as it can but HK tv is pretty darn cheap.

Sound- Dolby Digital 5.1 Cantonese or English dub tracks with optional yellow English subtitles. Very good audio tracks. While pretty straightforward and a little hollow, what they lack in dynamics they make up for in simple clarity. The sound fx is pretty generic and one assumes most of the dialouge was dubbed. Its fine but, once again, it is a low budget tv production, so don’t expect outstanding score or fx.

Extras- Chapter selections— Tai Seng Trailers for Bullets of Love, Assassin, The Duel, Cop on a Mission, Fist Power, Deadful Melody, Dragon Inn, and Fists of Fury— Donnie Yen Filmography— Making Of behind the scenes featurette. This 21 ? min promo for the series features various soundbites from the production crew, and Yen in the gym, but mainly it has several scenes from the film and montages that let us see some of what we have missed in this condensed version, including early plotting and fight scenes. As a matter of fact, the fight scenes in this featurette look better than the scenes in the movie, so it is a welcome addition.— Commentary tracks. Track one) Donnie Yen and Dr. Craig Reed. Donnie Yen commentary is immense fun. He is extremely affable and very easily slides into talking about the project and is upfront about its limitations. He discusses the pressure and time constraint he was under, having to choreograph a fights on the spot, with so-so stuntmen, and finish it in a matter of hours (which leads to a great anecdote about the infamous padded down Bey Logan fight we see in the film). He even mentions how it was an oversight on his part, not realizing the undercranking/speeding up of BETA would be different form film undercranking and would make the fights look too fast. And, no one is spared as Donnie amusingly points out the melodrama, bad acting in scenes of co-stars as well as himself. At the end of the track, he jokes that maybe the commentary will be the DVDs main selling point, but, no joke, with his laid back yet informative, fun comments, he is right. Track 2) features Dr. Craig Reed again (who is this guy?), Tai Seng product manager Frank Djeng, and martial artist film star Robin Shou. While Donnie’s track is mainly anecdotes about the production and thoughts on Bruce Lee, this track delves into the stars and the history behind the story. It too, is lighthearted and fun, but unfortunately is hampered by technical difficulties, the track is full of hiss, and the low volume commentary struggles against the film soundtrack. It is a good thing there are two tracks, because, although still listenable, the second commentary is so annoyingly distorted it was a struggle to sit through.

Conclusion- Well, this version of Fists of Fury while ambitious in its scope, is hampered by limited HK tv budget and general melodrama. A curiosity for HK and Donnie Yen fans, luckily the DVD, although a condensed version of the series, does offer good extras, particularly the featurette and the Donnie Yen commentary that make it worthwhile for those die-hard completists out there. Otherwise, I would say it is best to approach with caution and maybe give it a rental first.
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Believer, The Reviewed By Scott Weinberg Posted 04/29/04 15:37:43

"A controversial gimmick in search of a better narrative." (Average)

A one-note movie that beats its drum loudly and often, The Believer hinges upon the viewer’s capacity for accepting a Jewish Nazi Skinhead. It’s not Ryan Gosling’s intense performance that prevents us from buying the whole package. It’s Henry Bean’s lecturing and self-satisfied screenplay that keeps this mildly compelling character study from evolving into anything more worthwhile.Gosling’s Danny Bolint is a miltantly self-hating Jew. Why? Not sure really. Through use of some clumsily overdramatic flashbacks, we learn that Danny enraged his Hebrew School teachers by challenging long accepted laws of Judaism. OK, fine. So Danny learns some untraditional teachings from his father. How that evolves into violent hatred for his own religion is anyone’s guess.The Believer is packed to the gills with various speeches, lectures and theological bantering. Much of it ends with someone getting a baseball bat to the head. In many respects, The Believer feels a whole lot like American History X with a Semitic gimmick.Much of what does work in the film can be attributed to Gosling’s excellent work as the hate-filled Danny, though his supporting cast is a mixed bag at best. (When Theresa Russell is the big standout, that’s not exactly a great thing.)Created more to incite than to entertain, and that’s just fine. But this one’s loaded with more cornball dialogue and convenient plot holes than your average Sandra Bullock flick, which makes The Believer a tough movie to take all that seriously.
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DOWNLOAD MOVIE FernGully: The Last Rainforest Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
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The Movie

FernGully: The Last Rainforest is an Australia-born animted film from 1992 that features some solid, if unspectacular, animation, a rather impressive cast of voice-actors, a mildly intriguing adventure plot, and a whole lot of really earnest environmental messages.

The story is pretty simple stuff: Adorable female fairy Crysta enjoys her heavenly home deep in FernGully Rainforest. She’s got a teacher to ignore, a boyfriend to tease, and a whole lot of legends about trees and spirits to remember. But with the appearance of a thick stream of smoke far in the distance, Crysta gets a little curious and sets out to seek its source.

She comes across a bunch of “humans,” goofy and clueless creatures charged with bringing down a section of Crysta’s beloved home. So she (accidentally) shrinks one of the destructioneers down to spritely size, and takes him on a tour of FernGully’s most wonderful shopping malls forests and canopies and lagoons and whatnot. Not at all surprisingly, newcomer Zak grows a change of heart right quick, and then its up to him (and Crysta) (and lots of crazy talking animals) to save FernGully from becoming Bulldozer Central.

Plot-wise, FernGully isn’t deep. The flick wears its “omg save the rainforest!” attitude clearly on its sleeve, which makes for a somewhat over-earnest display here and there … but so what, really? So a seven-year-old kid might actually walk away from the movie with the words “rainforst” and “conservation” wedged into his ever-expanding vocabulary. Hey, if the Veggie Tales folks can sell religion in this fashion, then I say the environmental lobby deserves their fair shot as well.

But it comes down to the issue of entertainment. You can make the most well-intentioned piece of family filmmaking in the world, but if you don’t entertain those families, they probably won’t much care for your environmentally-friendly subtext.

Fortunately, FernGully works in a cute and quaint fashion, and in many ways it reminded me of Don Bluth’s B+ efforts. The hand-drawn animation certainly isn’t flawless, but the animators do a fine job of giving their colorful characters a nice dose of personality. The plot is formulaic and entirely predictable, but that won’t matter much to a giggling seven-year-old who hasn’t seen all that many movies. Plus there’s a half-dozen musical numbers, which are goofy (for the kids) and short (for the adults).

If FernGully has one strong and unexpected asset, it’d have to lie in the voice cast. As the strangely alluring Crysta, Samantha Mathis does some very lovely voicework here, and Christian Slater plays semi-jilted man-fairy “Pips” with some rascally charm. And as is often the case in any sort of animated feature, the supporting cast is a truly eclectic group of performers: Robin Williams (in his first animated gig), Tim Curry (as the enjoyably evil slimebeast known as Nexxus), Grace Zabriskie, Robert Pastorelli, Tone Loc, and Cheech & Chong. Even if you only spend FernGully’s 70-some minutes playing “name that voice,” you could have a pretty good time.

As a longtime animation buff, I can appreciate the hard work and good intentions that went into a film like FernGully, which helps me to overlook the fact that the actual plot of the movie is pretty darn flimsy.

The DVD

Video: A virtual handshake is due to Fox for releasing a “family favorite” movie in its original Widescreen (1.85:1) aspect ratio. True, the disc does come with a Full Frame option, but who’d want to raise their children with so little respect for animated cinema?

Anyway, the Widescreen transfer is pretty darn solid. The animation is bold and bright and comes through crystal-clear. So clear, in fact, that it might just draw attention to the intermittent glitches in the animation processing. They’re minor flaws regardless, and I’m of the opinion that a few “glitches” in hand-drawn animation only adds to the charm of the art form.

Audio: Dolby Digital 5.1 English, DD 2.0 Spanish, and French Dolby Surround are your listed options, and the English track sounds just dandy. Optional subtitles are available in English or Spanish.

Extras

A 2-disc Special Edition for … FernGully? Sure, why not? Disney does it with all their titles — several of which are pretty darn awful. So why not FernGully?

On disc 1 you’ll find a pair of special features. First is a feature-length audio commentary with director Bill Kroyer, art director Ralph Eggleston, and coordinating art director Susan Kroyer, which covers all the bases and shows a still-strong affection for the film from its creators. I can’t imagine anyone besides hardcore animation buffs giving this track a full listen, but that’s precisely the audience that’ll dig it.

Seed of the Story: Script to Story Comparison is viewable in chapters or in an eight-minute block (and with or without audio commentary by screenwriter Jim Cox). Here we get six FernGully sequences, from script to storyboard to rough animation to final product.

Moving on to the second platter, we’re greeted with three headings, so let’s break the goodies down as such:

Featurettes

From Paper to Tree (29:54) is a “making of” retrospective that features input (both new and old) from “Ferngully” author Diana Young, producer Wayne Young, director Bill Kroyer, actresses Samantha Mathis & Grace Zabriskie, animation director Tony Fucile, character animator Chrystal Klabunde, animator Steve Markowski, art director Ralph Eggleston, and several others. Fans will get insights on the movie’s ecological inspirations, pre-production art conception, peeks at the animation process, and a few looks at the actors as they record their dialogue. This is a solid little featurette, although (obviously) its appeal is limited to the hardcore Ferngully fanatics.

Behind the Voice: Toxic Love (2:29) is a multi-angle look at Tim Curry’s big musical number. Flick through the multiple angles to see early sketchwork, finished animation, Mr. Curry crooning into a microphone, or all three at once (via splitscreen).

The original featurette (5:53) is a fluffy little promo piece from 1992 that covers the concept, the cast, and the creation of the flick. Again, fans will be happy to see this piece included, but it’s not something you’ll watch more than once … if that.

Rounding out section one is a music video (4:12) for the Tone Loc song “If I’m Gonna Eat Somebody (It Might as Well Be You),” which was recorded for a kid’s movie, so stop your giggling right now. Actually, feel free to giggle away, because this might be one of the silliest music videos recorded since man first drew breath.

Set Top Games is our second section, and it’s a veritable arcade of FernGully goodness! No less than eight different clicky games are included for the kids to enjoy: “Creatures of the Rainforest,” “Sound Pools,” “Save Batty!,” “Grow a Tree,” “Capture Hexxus,” “Sounds of the Rainforest,” “Pips’ Pan Pipe,” and “Out of the Forest.” I’d review each clicky game individually, but c’mon. I have other reviews to write tonight! Joking aside, Fox has done a nice job with these little games; if your kids are into these sorts of educational clicky games, well, here’s eight of ‘em!

The last section is Theatrical Trailers and TV Spots, and it’s here you’ll find, yep, three different theatrical trailers and a trio of old TV spots.

Final Thoughts

Fox tries to go the “Disney DVD” route with this rather packed 2-disc FernGully release, and you know what? It’s actually quite a strong little package. Perhaps FernGully is one of your most fondly remembered “nostalgia movies,” and you just love the goofy little thing. (Hey, I grew up loving Robert Altman’s Popeye, and therefore I cast no stones where “nostalgia favorites” are concerned.)

So if you do have fond recollections of this environmentally-minded animated adventure, you should consider this release Highly Recommended. Newcomers might want to give the flick a rental first, just to see if the kiddies care for it.
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DOWNLOAD MOVIE Mummy, The Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
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Mummy, The

The Mummy **1/2 (out of 5) (1999)

Cast: Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo, Kevin J. O’Conner

Directed by Stephen Sommers

In Ancient Egypt, a priest name Imhotep sleeps with Pharoah Seti’s mistress and later kills him. As punishment for his deeds, Imhotep is mummified alive. In 1923, a group of treasure hunters resurrects him and must stop the mummy before he gains the power to destroy the world.

An Indiana Jones-type adventure, but without the witty script or filmmaking skills of the director. Special effects rule this production, and admittedly they are impressive, but they just aren’t quite enough to generate interest in the cartoonish characters and derivative story. Strangely enough, it’s very gory for a PG-13 film but the only thing scary about the film is Fraser’s goofy baritone voice. A better cast and more dimension to the characters would have helped immensely, as the film is suprisingly watchable despite it’s awfulness. But just like a real mummy, the body of a good film is here, but someone removed the vital organs, specifically the heart and brains.

Back to Qwipster’s Movie Reviews

 

 

 

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DOWNLOAD MOVIE All or Nothing Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
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I just got through watching this movie and thought it was absolutely
fantastic. Although the others were cute and witty, this Bring it on,
brought more to the screen. The dance routines were more 'challenging'
and definitely not 'plastic' type material. I loved all the songs they
brought into this movie. Rihanna is a fantastic singer and individual.
I like the actresses also brought into it as well. They were very good
and some kind of prissy, which was the basis of its appeal. I know they
say, "The first of a trilogy is always a classic," but I think you can
always have a new one. I think Bring it on: All or Nothing is a new
classic. It would be a great movie for all those girls nights.

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Bring It On: All or Nothing Reviewed By David Cornelius Posted 08/10/06 09:27:02

"If those are my choices, I’ll go with ‘nothing.’" (Total Crap)

There was a point where the third movie in the ?Bring It On? franchise was actually going to be titled ?Bring It On Yet Again.? Wiser heads prevailed, but only to a point - while somebody was smart enough to change the title, nobody was smart enough to realize that we really don?t need another ?Bring It On? movie.The name of this new entry - the third in the series and the second to go straight to video - is ?Bring It On: All or Nothing,? and if that sounds notably generic to you, then you?re on to the premise of the whole film. Like the title, the movie itself is filler that means nothing and goes nowhere. It?s filled with formulaic plot points, cheap dialogue, affordable young starlets (among them Beyonc??s little sister), and a catchy pop soundtrack, all designed to fill ninety-some minutes and convince fans of the first movie to spend their hard-earned allowance on the DVD. This one comes to us from the director of ?American Pie Presents: Band Camp,? which should tell you just how little energy went in to slapping this one together. Whip up a quickie story about cheerleaders, toss in a few memorable one-liners from the first movie (something about ?cheerocracy?), rush it onto video store shelves, and enjoy medium profits from minimal effort.For chapter three, the studio wheels in Hayden Panettiere, who plays Britney, the captain of her school?s cheerleading squad. All?s well in Britney?s world until mom and dad announce they?re moving. Not only is Britney no longer top dog, but now she?s stuck as the only white girl in an all-black school.The rest of the story has her winning the respect of the black cheerleaders, falling for some cute guy, learning that her old friends are actually dimwits, and taking them on in some city-wide cheer-off hosted by MTV. Oh, and because ?High School Musical? was such a hit for Disney earlier this year, we?re tossed a couple of big dance numbers (including a dream sequence) to please the kids. (In fact, ?All or Nothing? is little more than a Disney Channel movie with a slightly bigger budget and a handful of unfunny sex jokes.)Most peculiar about this film is how it trips over itself in trying to find its target audience. The one-dimensional plotting suggests a movie aimed at younger girls, while the sexual innuendo (and not-so-innuendo) suggests a movie aimed at older viewers. It?s a movie trapped in its own puberty, failing at pleasing audiences of any age, which, as an idea, is far more interesting than anything the rest of the movie has to offer - mainly, hyper-obnoxious characters, limp writing, boring direction, uninspired acting, and dance/cheer showdowns that never seem to capture the energy of such athletic performances.Admittedly, I went in to this one with the lowest of expectations - I?m still baffled by the success of the first ?Bring It On,? a movie so cloying and sloppy that it deserves a good beating, while the first sequel was equally awful. Universal now comes out 0-and-3, as my expectations for ?All or Nothing? were properly met. There?s not a likeable character in the bunch, not an interesting scene, not a decent cheer routine. The racial subtext to the whole thing is a wee disturbing (Britney?s old friend turns out to be a nasty bigot), as is director Steve Rash?s decision to linger on the skimpy skirts and tight shirts. The rest is low-budget formula filler, the kind best left unrented. Hey, that could be Universal?s new motto!
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Evil Dead II
Evil Dead 2 is no doubt a great movie. The making of Evil Dead 2 just makes
it better. It gives you background information on the costumes/efx, some
cut
scenes, and everything else about the movie. It is a great addition for the
regular Evil Dead fan.

10/10

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Cursed has been used to describe this movie, as most of the film had to be re-shot long afterward to try to make it work, with many different actors.  Given the final release, I certainly have no intention of seeing the deleted scenes, as the ones that made the cut verge on disastrous.  Lots of gore was also snipped out to get a PG-13 rating, which might annoy the gore lovers out there, but I was personally thankful.  Not that I’m opposed to gore from dumb horror movies, but I am thankful for any reason this botched-up excuse for teen horror was made shorter.

The film starts with siblings Elle (Ricci, Anything Else) and Jimmy (Eisenberg, Roger Dodger) driving one night on Mulholland Drive when some sort of beast jumps on their car, causing them to smash another driver (Elizabeth, Thirteen Ghosts) off the road.  While coming to the woman’s assistance, she is attacked and viciously killed by the beast, while Elle and Jimmy also are scratched in the process.  Shortly after, they both begin to exhibit some strange new behavior, including a thirst for blood, heightened senses and strength, and a pentagram shape appearing on one of their palms — all signs that they are becoming werewolves.  it is said to remove their affliction, they need to kill the main werewolf responsible for the blight, which proves to be close to home for the two once they find out who it is.

Cursed is a long way from the success that the first Scream movie was for director Wes Craven and screenwriter Kevin Williamson (The Faculty, I Know What You Did Last Summer).  In fact, it feels much more like a pilot episode to a new horror television series, a la "Buffy" or "Angel", replacing werewolves for vampires.  As made-for-TV fare, this might have been par for the course, but as a major motion picture from two of the leading talents in the business of horror, the ineptitude is downright inexcusable.  First-time talents have made horror entries far better than these seasoned veterans, although I’m sure they will just write off the project as being out of their control from the get-go.

Small roles for Craig Kilborn ("The Late Late Show") and Scott Baio (does Craven have a thing for "Happy Days"? — Henry Winkler was in Scream) do little to enhance the momentum of the film.  Ridiculous subplots involving the captain of the wrestling team (Ventimiglia, Winter Break) and his sexuality, and a two-or-three-timing boyfriend (Jackson, Urban Legend) make this look even more like prurient teen television trash not worthy of injecting into a legitimate werewolf entry.

Without scares or interesting twists, it isn’t just bad, it’s monotonous, leaving the recommendation strictly for viewers who enjoy horror films of any variety.  Cursed not only lives up to its name as an adjective for the production problems, but as a verb — used to describe what the majority of viewers who paid for this dreck did for the film’s entire duration.

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Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector Reviewed By EricDSnider Posted 03/25/06 19:12:22

"See, this is why dumb people shouldn’t be allowed to make movies." (Total Crap)

Larry the Cable Guy wants you to be intimately familiar with his bodily functions. He likes to pass gas and provide commentary on its potency, and he is not afraid to let you know, in colorful euphemisms, how badly he needs to use the restroom. What a delightful scamp this Larry the Cable Guy is! What a refreshingly honest, hard-working, "salt of the earth" type! How I hate him!I had only seen snippets of Nebraska-born comedian Dan Whitney’s redneck character Larry the Cable Guy before his feature film, but what I saw was broad and simple-minded. (He’s the one who makes easily amused people laugh by saying, "Get-R-Done!") His film debut, "Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector," is 89 minutes of jokes centered mostly around the butt. Mr. The Cable Guy — playing himself, except he’s a health inspector instead of a cable guy — can barely go 10 seconds without referencing his butt, the butts of others, or the butts of animals. The things that come out of those butts are an especially prized topic."You ever fart so hard your back cracks?" he asks at one point, I presume rhetorically. He gets no answer from his boss, the ever-blustery Bart (Tom Wilson), nor from Amy Butlin (Iris Bahr), his too-serious, bun-haired new partner. These people don’t know what to make of white-trash Larry, what with his conducting restaurant inspections in flannel shirts with the sleeves cut off, and with his malaprops like saying "homeopathic" when he means "homophobic," and with his constant — some would say chronic, perhaps even medically serious, like maybe he should see a doctor — flatulence.The plot involves a series of food poisonings at the city’s best restaurants, with the All City Top Chef contest just days away. It’s up to Larry and Butlin to figure out who’s sabotaging the competition, even if it means taking on the breast-obsessed mayor (Joe Pantoliano).Larry is portrayed as a nice, good-hearted guy, dumb because dumb is funny, but not dumb in a believable way. (He says Jesus came over on the Mayflower, and that it happened a hundred years ago). The screenplay is credited to relative newcomers Jonathan Bernstein and James Greer, but I suspect Larry had a hand in writing lines like "She was so ugly she could trick-or-treat over the telephone" (which made me laugh, I don’t mind telling you).The movie, directed by first-timer Trent Cooper, is sloppily assembled, like it was put together by drunk monkeys working on a tight deadline. Why do you need David Koechner as Larry’s retarded next-door neighbor, a character who does nothing? Whence the embittered wheelchair-bound co-worker (Tony Hale), a character who winds up doing something but who doesn’t need to be in a wheelchair? Why, when you’re creating a fake newspaper for an insert shot, would you put "January 1" (no year) as the date? Really, movie? Is it New Year’s Day? Funny, you didn’t mention it being New Year’s Eve in the previous scene, or Christmastime before that. Sloppy, sloppy, stupid.It’s as unfunny a comedy as I’ve seen this year, so drunkenly focused on getting out as many poo-poo-pee-pee jokes as it can that it forgets to actually make them funny. Gross-out humor can be a magical thing — I laughed as hard as anyone at Chef’s post-death No. 2 on "South Park" this week — but an endless barrage of half-hearted poop references doesn’t qualify as humor. It reeks of desperation, among other things.
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THE MOVIE:

Hellboy has turned into quite the franchise. First the star of comic books, the character moved into prose fiction, then the live-action feature directed by Guillermo del Toro (Pan’s Labyrinth), and now the first in a series of animated movies. Hellboy Animated: Sword of Storms aired on Cartoon Network last year. Its production was overseen by del Toro and Hellboy’s daddy, comics legend Mike Mignola, along with Tad Stones, who previously helmed some of the Aladdin sequels and Buzz Lightyear for Disney, and director Phil Weinstein. Together they have come up with a fun action picture that should please Hellboy fans as well as give parents something they can watch with their older children.

In this new adventure, we pretty much get a solid two-fisted story in the Hellboy formula. Ron Perlman reprises his role from the movie, lending his voice to the big red guy as he jets off to Japan to investigate the bizarre disappearance of a folklore scholar and its connection to a mystical sword, the titular Sword of Storms. Joining him on the mission is a new import from the comic, the plucky Kate Corrigan (Peri Gilpin, of Frasier Frame), and the new creation of a befuddled psychic. No sooner has Hellboy found the sword than a fox spirit has lead him out of his regular world into a magic realm that is stuck back in the feudal period when the sword was created. Hellboy won’t be able to get back to his own time and place unless he destroys the sword, freeing the demons Thunder and Lightning and thus allowing them to unleash a set of destructive dragons on the Earth. The beautiful ghost of a young woman who was caught in a love triangle in the past urges Hellboy to take this action so that she can move on into the spirit realm, and a host of beasties from Japanese folklore also try to bring the do-gooder down. Mignola and Stones are clearly having a blast digging through the bizarre Japanese myths, pitting Hellboy against black widow women, floating vampire heads, and seductive ladies with necks that can stretch to any length to entangle a man. Most fun, though, is the Kappa, a sort of water demon that is one of the strangest things you will ever see. (If you like this creature, I recommend the novella Kappa
by Ryunosuke Atukagawa, author of Rashomon. It’s a unique piece of social satire.)

The weird creatures are all the more appealing thanks to the excellent animation of the series. The creative team has established a contemporary style that crosses Mike Mignola’s angular, stylistic drawings with the Bruce Timm look of Batman: The Animated Series and Japanese anime (and maybe a little Disney, if only for a sly dig at the giant’s Beauty and the Beast within the attack of domestic items). The characters and the quality of the visuals remains consistent throughout, with a good sense of acting, detailed backgrounds, and a vivacious depiction of the action. If I had one nitpick, I don’t like the digital blur effects used in the fight sequences to convey a sense of swift movement. It seems unnecessary and actually calls more attention to the camera work, pulling the viewer out of the experience. Elsewhere, there are only a couple instances of a noticeable clash of Hellboy Animated’s traditional hand-drawn look and the use of computers–such as when the plane with Liz and Abe is flying over the ocean, and then some of the effects around those two characters when they are stranded on the rocky island in the rain.

The voice cast is also quite good, making the characters really come alive. Ron Perlman is really an underrated actor. Part of his being chosen to play Hellboy in del Toro’s live action flick was his expressive face, which doesn’t lose any of its range even behind make-up. This cartoon also demonstrates what a strong speaking voice he has. Part of what makes Hellboy so charming is his hangdog approach to his work, and Perlman makes great use of every utterance of tired acceptance when another pummeling is coming the big guy’s way. Only he could turn “Oh, crap” into a catchphrase. Once or twice, the animation isn’t entirely on par with the acting. Usually it’s when Hellboy has to interact with one of the human characters, like when he’s hugging Kate. Or, there are times when a character is making a face or gesture that doesn’t seem to correspond exactly with what is happening on the screen.

Excepting those small quibbles, this is some of the best non-theatrical animation I’ve seen in a while, maybe only beat out by Avatar, The Last Airbender.

Though Hellboy Animated: Sword of Storms is made for a television cartoon channel, it’s not exclusively for kids. Nor is it entirely adult. It’s somewhere between Saturday morning kiddie fare and the level of grimness in the movie. If your kids saw the live-action Hellboy and were fine with it, then you can show them Sword of Storms. The violence isn’t too gory, but some people do die and we see skeletons. The language is pretty tame, with “damn” and “dumbass” being as bad as it gets. You know your own children, so proceed accordingly.

Adults with a yen for action and strangeness will also likely get a kick out of Hellboy Animated: Sword of Storms. And, of course, animation enthusiasts who need no such qualifications should snatch up this DVD in a heartbeat. I know I had a good time. It’s great to see these characters again while we wait for another installment of the comic book and the movie sequel. No one has the same passion for oddball monsters as Mike Mingola and Guillermo del Toro, and I welcome any and all efforts from these gentleman. They seem incapable of being anything but pleasurable.

THE DVD

Video:
Hellboy Animated: Sword of Storms is a knock-out production. The movie was created at a 1.78:1 aspect ratio, and it was given an awesome anamorphic transfer. The brightness of the colors were easy to achieve, I am sure, so I was more impressed by the dark and creepy scenes. Nicely done.

Sound:
There are three sound options to choose from on the main program: a Dolby Digital 5.1 mix in English and 2.0 versions in English and in Spanish. The sound was designed well, giving us lots of boom in the action sequences. There is also Closed Captioning.

Extras:
The producers went all out for this DVD. Hellboy Animated: Sword of Storms has a boatload of extras, starting with an awesome full-length comic book inside the case. “Phantom Limbs” is an entertaining new adventure in the “animated” style by writer Jim Pascoe and artist Rick Lacy, colored by Michelle Madsen. There is also a new pin-up by Mike Mignola and Dave Stewart, as well as a sweet cover by Jeff Matsuda, who did the designs for Jackie Chan Adventures. Kudos, as well, to Anchor Bay for the sturdy insert card with the chapter selection on one side and a gorgeous graphic of the Hellboy profile from the DVD cover on the other. (For those who care about these things, there is also a shiny slipcover for the DVD case.)

There are two alternate tracks for watching the main movie on Sword of Storms. You can choose an audio commentary with Mike Mignola, Tad Stones, and Phil Weinstein, as well as a “Follow the Fox” feature. Every time a graphic of the fox spirit shows up on screen, if you hit enter on your remote, it takes you to a short documentary about the folklore the script draws on. I chose to watch these two features together so that my first viewing of the movie was uninterrupted. The commentary is really good and stays completely on topic, giving a great insight into the development and final execution of this movie. Within that are the five “Follow the Fox” featurettes, four of which are from the “Hellboy Goes East” program and then the extra “A View From the Top.” They contain contributions from the three gentleman who did the commentary, Guillermo del Toro, and a bunch of the animation staff, and they are illustrated with production drawings, storyboards, and comic book pages.

* “Origins” (2:30): Revelations about the myths that inspired the story.

* “A View From the Top” (5:30): A scene-specific look at the adaptation of the short comic book story “Heads” for a sequence in Sword of Storms alongside the original story that inspired Mingola.

* “Tale Spin” (2:50): An overview of the design of the spider woman scenario.

* “Prop Prefecture” (2:30): The design of the props, including the artifact spirits and backgrounds.

* “Samurai Songs” (3:00): Behind the scenes with Christopher Drake, who composed the music and played the entire score on his synthesizer.

All of these features are also accessible through the “Extras” menu, with “A View from the Top” being on its one with the other bonuses, and “Hellboy Goes East” getting its own menu. One complaint: Even with “Follow the Fox” turned off, the fox icon kept appearing on my screen. I couldn’t select it, and it would disappear in something like 30 seconds, but it seems like if I want it off, it should be completely off. It’s kind of distracting.

From the Extras menu, there are also four other programs. Most of these feature the production people from “Hellboy Goes East” and contributions from the various voice actors.

* “To Hell and Back” (9:45): Examining the history of the character and Mike Mignola’s comics. It features an extended interview with Mignola, as well as time with his editor Scott Allie, colorist Dave Stewart, and publisher Mike Richardson.

* “A New Breed” (5:20): Redesigning Hellboy for animation with concept artist Sean Galloway.

* “Conquering Hellboy” (6:30): Behind the scenes at the voice recording sessions, including interviews with Perlman, Blair, Jones, Gilpin, and Phil LaMarr (Mad TV, Futurama).

* “Keepers of Hellboy” (42:30): A presentation from the 2006 Comic Con International, with Mignola, del Toro, Stones, Weinstein, Galloway, and co-writer Matt Wayne. In addition to the long discussion, they show an animatic of the opening sequence, production art, and then there is a short bit from the autograph session afterwards. If parents are still reading, be warned: del Toro drops the F-Bomb!

Multiple trailers can be viewed from the extras menu, but they also play as the DVD loads. All the same films are also advertised in the comic book, and they include the next Hellboy Animated film Blood and Iron (released this May), the Hellboy video game coming in the fall, the anime Noein, and some Stan Lee-produced cheesefest called The Condor, just to remind us all what bad comic books are like. (Yeah, I said it. Come and get me.)

As if this weren’t enough, there are also DVD-Rom features. When you load in the disc, it gives you the option of going into the “interactive” mode or watching it with your standard DVD playing program. Unfortunately, using the interactive mode requires installing material onto your hard drive. Thanks, we all need to add more junk to our computers to view something once! These may only be temporary files, as I don’t see any icons on my desktop or indications of new software in my program menu, but I also didn’t get any notice of the files being cleaned up when I took out the disc. I don’t know. It did claim that doing this would allow me to better access the material and get the most current updates–but what does that mean?

Anyway, once I got it loaded in, the DVD gave me a quick tutorial of what I would see. Essentially, you have the choice of watching Sword of Storms in a reduced window within a larger screen full of lots of enhanced-content options. A side menu allows you to switch between viewing storyboards that correspond with the scene playing or reading along in the screenplay. A live transcript of what is being said runs under the feature, and you can search on keywords to find where it appears in the movie, like if you want to find out how many times Hellboy says “crap.” This function also works with the audio commentary. Additionally in this side menu, you can bookmark favorite scenes so you can jump to them whenever you want.

At the top, there are character icons for Hellboy, Liz, and Abe, all of which contain bookmarks for their top scenes. The screen also keeps a running tally of the number of bad guys these characters kill in Sword of Storms.

Drop down menus under the mini screen allow you to select audio tracks and the different bonus features available on the DVD. Above the menu, a sword icon also suggests different features to jump to while watching the movie.

Despite the annoyance of the rigmarole of having to load it into your computer, it’s actually a really nicely designed function. It would be a great study aid for film and animation students. UPDATE: One of the people behind the DVD-ROM features started a thread on the DVD Talk forum explaining more about how this part of the disc functions. He pretty much clears up any reservation I had about the system, so enjoy this excellent bonus without concern.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Highly Recommended. Hellboy Animated: Sword of Storms is an entertaining extension of the Hellboy franchise. The animators have stayed faithful to the earlier versions of the character, giving us a new adventure with some cool supernatural creatures from Japanese mythology. Strong, stylized animation brings the characters to life and delivers inspired action sequences, making for a quality feature rather than just some knock-off sequel. Extensive background materials make this a fun interactive experience, as well. A truly excellent DVD.

Jamie S. Rich is a novelist and comic book writer. His next book is entitled Have You Seen the Horizon Lately? and is due for release from Oni Press this summer. It follows up on both of his successful books from 2006, the pop-culture hit The Everlasting, and his original graphic novel with Jo?lle Jones, 12 Reasons Why I Love Her. Rich is currently writing the ongoing independent comic book series Love the Way You Love.
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